My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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