Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
