I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
