So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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