i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
