thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
