super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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