I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
