I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
