If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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