Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
