JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
