My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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