In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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