o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
