Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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