Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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