How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
