do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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