Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
