He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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