Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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