Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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