I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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