im so drunk with asians
where?
always
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
