Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
only you would photoshop your dick
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
