I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
