After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
