every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
