In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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