Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
