mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
