Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My hand turned me down
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Someone signed my nipple.
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