went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
