I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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