ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
is that a dick in a sweater?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
