Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My ATM looks so different sober.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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