It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
