somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize