it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize