So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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