Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
