Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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