Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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