it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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