Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
