i can't believe i had my finger in that
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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