Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
