forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
