so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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