Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
