but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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