I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
