So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
