I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You were trust falling into bushes
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
