he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
