how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize