You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
