The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She bit a glass in half.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
