Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize